A no-holds-barred blog about the hard truths, emotional burdens and profound love that comes with caring for a loved one through cancer.
About Aimee Rodriguez
I became a cancer caregiver in 2008, when my husband, Antonio, was diagnosed with an ATRT on his spine. (Ok technically at that time he was diagnosed with a different kind of cancer and we found out 10 years later it was an ATRT – thanks genetic testing!)
I’ve been a cancer caregiver through the tangible things—surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, PT, pain management, etc.—and the intangible things—guilt, resentment, worry, fear, isolation, the waiting, the friendship mindfuck, the losing yourself, the losing your mind….
I’ve found that lots of people talk about the first ones, not so much the second. And when I’ve found that when resources do address those intangible things, they don’t help.
I want brutal honesty, not pithy advice. I want to talk about how unbelievably hard and heart breaking being a caregiver is. About all the messed up things you feel and all the ridiculously difficult things you do. And I want cursing, because this is some hard shit and I can’t figure out why no one seems to say that quiet part out loud.
I’ve been my husband’s cancer caregiver for 14 years, and 2022 was the year I broke. Not only was I depleted, angry, remorseful, sad—I was empty. A shell. I had lost myself to the point of no longer knowing who I was when I wasn’t being a caregiver, mother, wife, daughter, or working professional. I was the poster child for caregiver burnout.
Since I couldn’t find the kind of conversations I needed, I decided to start them myself, here.
When I’m not a caregiver, I’m … well, still trying to figure out who I am.
Work? I’m a marketing professional in the software technology space. I’ve done PR, communications, marketing, messaging, strategic planning—all the things that derive from a love of words and writing. I started out in the publishing industry, working for both trade and academic publishers. And while I’m no longer working directly with books and authors, the passion remains.
Identity? I’m a mom, a bonus mom, a daughter, a wife. I’m raising kids through a parent’s cancer diagnosis while also caring for my own parents who are getting older and have physical and medical struggles too.
But I’m also more than my labels. I can sing like nobody’s business when I’m by myself and the music is blasting. I kick ass on word puzzles. I’m your gal on trivia night when the subject is The 80s. I will always choose mountains over coast. And I’ve come to accept I will never be a longboard dancer. (I tried, Jean Guerrero, I really did.)
But enough about me, this is about us. What we’ve been through, what we’re feeling, how we’re coping (or not). We’re in this together, and I’m so, so grateful that you’re here.
Love,
Aimee
For all inquiries, please email: aimee@caringthrucancer.com.
Mailing Address:
Caring Through Cancer
PO Box 1161
Apex, NC 27502
